thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
