he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize