At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize