i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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