I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
