That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
