i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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