Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
