There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
