its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize