I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I need a beard to bite.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize