guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
