well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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