quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Randomize
