names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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