yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I love having hate sex.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
