just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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