I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
