i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
