Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
