You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
