Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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