someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You need a sexual gate keeper
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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