he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I believe in your delicious
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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