My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
