we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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