me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
