I showed him my bush... on skype.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
