3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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