she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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