when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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