my sisters under your porch take her home
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
