Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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