My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Quick, to the slutcave!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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