i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Sorry about my life...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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