Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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