I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
