This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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