just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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