So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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