In the future we'll all be gay
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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