Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
