It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
