I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
