I've blown a few things in my day
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
