I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
