were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I am naked and annoyed.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
