your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
