I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
