my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
