so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
