So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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