remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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