Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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