Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
