since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize