508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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