She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize