i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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