If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We got so high we made milksteak
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
