Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
