Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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