Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
