You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
