escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I am midnight drunk by noon
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
