It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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