so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
and you fell through a lawn chair
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
