They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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