I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
