i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
