But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
