Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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