She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
