Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
