My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i think im in europe. pls send help
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize