Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
