I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
