Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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