You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize