It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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