Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
