shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
